JULY | 2020 | FRONT PAGE
MITIGATE THE WEIGHT
CREDIT: Black Bear via PEXELS
Y’all feel that, right? The agitation? The frustration? The moodiness? Do you feel the loss of control, the feeling of being overwhelmed, and the angst that comes with not being able to relax your mind? Y’all feel it and one of the main reasons we know is because we’ve spent a considerable amount of time reading (and in some instances praying over) your social media posts. We never thought we’d find ourselves in a position where we’d constantly repeat the same thought, yet here we are, about to do it again. This year sucks, it fucking sucks.
Kobe’s gone, and COVID-19 has more than worn out her welcome. Other things that have worn out their welcome include, but aren’t limited to Donald Trump and the Republican party, THE COPS WHO MURDERED BREONNA TAYLORE, GEORGE FLOYD and RAYSHARD BROOKS, the hetero blacks who refuse to acknowledge and/ or include Trans and SGL lives in their little “collective”, the U.S. government, the economy, “never maskers”, the uncertainty of what November will bring, Candice Owens, killer hornets (as if non killer hornets weren’t bad enough), earthquakes, and locust swarms. We’re a little more than halfway through this year, but it feels like we’ve spent two eternities living in the Hunger Games. To say that there’s “a lot” going on would be an understatement of the grandest kind, and so many of us are (rightfully) beyond exhausted.
Almost each and every day of 2020 has been lived with us dodging literal and figurative bullets. Shit has gotten so bad that we’re no longer concerned about what day it is, but about what chapter of Revelations we’ll experience when we leave the house. This is why it’s okay to admit feelings of agitation, frustration and moodiness, because each and every one of us are living in a nightmare, and her name is 2020. Regardless of what the source of your agitation, frustration, or moodiness is, there are ways to let things out without doing harm to yourself or others.
Of course it’s super easy for people to say these things without actually telling you how to accomplish them, but luckily for you we’re not people. We’re Beaux. And Beaux is spending this month’s Front Page with some suggestions on how you can mitigate the weight of COVID laced stress!
EXERCISE
If you’re reading this from above the equator, it’s hot. It’s hot everywhere! COVID-19 put an abrupt halt to the development of our summer bodies, but chances are the summer is DONE. This means we’ve got to look forward to our 2021 bodies and put as much time and effort into them as we can..while we can.
CREDIT: Larry Crayton via Unsplash
The gyms are open, but we’ve gotta be extra cautious about doing the whole “people” thing. You’re free to go if you’d like, but,....yeah. Just be careful. Outdoor exercise is an AMAZING alternative to doing the people thing at the gym. Nor only does it reduce stress, but it’s a good way to burn off some of the calories we acquired as we quarantined with our Corona snacks. Let’s call a thing a thing. The most out of shape of us might benefit from a slow restart, and reacquaint ourselves to exercising with a moderate to brisk walk. Again, we’re just calling a thing a thing, but don’t be afraid.
This is a safe space. Youtube, Pinterest , and the rest of ARREST THE OFFICERS THAT KILLED BREYONNA TAYLOR’S internet, is filled with tools to help us reacclimate ourselves to physical activity. Outside of the internet exists a wide variety of mobile apps that can be used to either develop or maintain a fitness regiment, so we encourage you to explore the nearly endless options. Spend a little time with some tips from MSN here, and work the stress and anxiety out of your system!
PEOPLE YOU SHOULD KNOW
Social media has made social distancing a lot less challenging, and if your “people you should know” suggestions looks anything like ours, then there are tons of attractive people Facebook thinks you should connect with. The social media giant’s people finder is is populated using an algorithm that considers mutual friends, being members of and involved in the same groups and networks, and uses the contacts from your phone as well.
Thinking about all the way the app matches us with people can be kind of creepy, but since we’re directing our focus away from the things that worry us, we may as well make the best of this feature by using it to connect.
Additionally, if you’re anything like most Facebook users, you’ve got a shit ton of ‘friends’ you’ve never spoken to. Almost all of us are guilty of either sending or accepting requests from someone because we think they’re hot.
Now couldn’t be a better time to finally introduce ourselves to the incredibly attractive guy we’ve been following from Alaska since 2016, and given the current environment, it’s safe to assume that he’s feeling some of the same frustrations we are as we struggle to survive in the age of COVID-19.
MASTURBATE
Y’all had to know this was coming. We’ll typically wait until our Hot Sex issue to talk about such things, but this is an exception we’re comfortable with making! Like most respiratory viruses,COVID-19 is transmitted through the spread of respiratory droplets from coughs, sneezes,and people who talk loud and don’t wear masks. While our HOPE is that people aren’t being reckless in these streets, we’re beyond certain that people are out here doing the oochie coochie like it’s 2019.
Mastubation comes with a few added benefits in the age of COVID. Not only is monkey jagging THE best way to achieve a no contact release, but it lends a huge hand (giggles) to the prevention, management, and elimination of stress, anxiety, and depression as well. Self stimulation can be seen as more than an art when consideration is given to the way it promotes relaxation, alleviates sexual tension, and gives us all a better understanding of our sexual likes.
As hands-on (giggles) as masturbation may be, we can use more than what we came into this world with to satisfy our personal needs. There are literally millions of masturbation aids we can use to “get there”, and chances are that we’ll find ourselves less stressed after we reach our destination than we were before the trek. Results may vary depending on our individual buttons, but one thing that will remain consistent is the release of dopamine and oxytocin.
Dopamine plays an essential role in the way we feel pleasure. They don’t call it the “happiness hormone” for nothing! Meanwhile, oxytocin decreases stress and anxiety levels by either prompting or reminding our bodies to relax.
Sex might be the last thing on our minds as we find ourselves doing everything we can do to survive COVID-19, but we can’t forget the importance of putting number one first! Science has proven that masturbation serves as a two-in-one solution in the alleviation of anxiety and stress. Self pleasure comes with none of the risks or worries (both of which lead to even more stress that we don’t need) often associated with sex.
We don’t have to worry about spending hours on end in the bathroom with that little green box, about a “date” not catching his queue to leave, or the regret that sometimes comes as a result of having the right kind of sex with the wrong person….because we’ve ALL been there!
A TEMPORARY REPRIEVE
CREDIT: Oladimeji Ajegbile
